Welcome to the World Wide Web's largest, most advanced (within our budget) nondenominational celebration of all the gadgets, gizmos and general geekery the holidays are truly about.
'Tis the season for standing in lines a mile long to buy more than enough smartphones, tablets, cameras, MP3 players, laptops, TVs, headphones, video games, and robot vacuum cleaners to build the Death Star 10 times over.
It's that joyous time of year-when it's perfectly acceptable to throat-punch your neighbor, or take down a granny if it means getting the last (fill in the blank) within a 100-mile radius. So to celebrate, we've created a holiday dedicated to the one thing we can all believe in: Technology.
So gather round with friends and family and spend some quality time together staring at your separate screens.
#HappyTechnolidays. Let the festivities begin.